


scars will remain

by atfcx



Series: inspired by La Dispute [2]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Eating Disorders, Hopeful Ending, Mental Health Issues, Songfic, Therapy, WARNING FOR RAPE ANOREXIA AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, inspired by la dispute, psychiatric ward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8762872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atfcx/pseuds/atfcx
Summary: inspired by the songs "Such Small Hands" and "Nobody, Not Even the Rain" by La Dispute





	

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the songs "Such Small Hands" and "Nobody, Not Even the Rain" by La Dispute

Sometimes Tyler watches Josh while he sleeps.  
On an almost-nightly basis, Josh will awake to find a figure silhouetted by the hallway light, staring in the door's glass window. He's used to it. Most of the time it's someone checking on him, as they do every hour or something; the rest of the time, it's Tyler. Josh doesn't even think Tyler knows he's doing it, doesn't know how he doesn't get caught. He's tried to confront the petite teenager about it; every time he was met with a blank stare.

Tyler doesn't talk much.

In fact, one of the few times Josh has heard him properly speak was when he started screaming nonsense about "ghosts in the walls" and how they were trying to "crawl inside his head". He still shivers sometimes when he remembers Tyler's desperate wails and how it took two adults to restrain the abnormally small teenager.

From what he knows, Tyler doesn't tell his therapist much. No one does. But Tyler will sometimes speak to Josh, or communicate with him in some way, and it makes him feel special. They've become something that could resemble friends in some way, bonding over their mutual love for music.

Josh knows why Tyler is in here. Rape. Tyler is strong, despite his deep mental and physical scars. But Josh; Josh is weak. Weak, weak, weak. Josh doesn't deserve to eat. Josh doesn't deserve to live.

He sometimes still has nightmares about his most recent attempt. Sometimes still wakes up in a frenzy, shivering and sweating, swearing he can still feel the alcohol in his system. Tonight is no different; but he is awoken by the sound of a door loudly opening. Or slamming shut, more likely. A glance at the doorway through the watery haze in front of his eyes reveals the blacked-out figure just visible, before sleep claims him once more.

"Talk to me," Josh whispers. He's sitting at one end of the couch, facing the boy who occupies the other side. Tyler says nothing for a long time. Josh watches his thoughtful gaze sweep across the floor and along the main wall, without stopping to study anything in great detail. They're alone, for now. Every so often someone glances in as they pass the glass wall, but they are not disturbed.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

He's still avoiding his stare, now beginning to pick at a loose thread on his jeans.

It's a saturday morning. They don't have school for two days.

"Tell me anything." Tyler looks up just a little, eyes shifting in and out of focus. Josh continues his careful persistence. "Tell me what you think about when you can't sleep at night. Tell me about your scars, about the stories behind each of them. I have scars, too. But they can fade."

"You're not my therapist," Tyler snaps. His voice is harsh, and for some reason it calms the other boy. He says nothing.

In the silence that follows, Josh realises that he's sitting with his legs crossed. If someone catches him he'll be in trouble. Reluctantly, he unfolds them.

"Sorry," Tyler murmurs.

Josh nods.

More silence.

"We'll make it out of here, right?" Tyler turns to look at him properly and his eyes are full of contrasting emotions; desperation, cautious hope, fear, many others that Josh can't name. "Right, Josh?"

Josh pulls him close. Tyler stiffens for a few seconds then relaxes into his embrace, burying his head into Josh's shoulder. He can feel the smaller boy's heart beating firmly against his chest.

"We will," he answers. "We both will."

He means it.

**Author's Note:**

> i just needed a break from everything. but i randomly wrote this the other morning (it's not proof read sorry) so i guess i'm back. i'm doing okay. i have two tøp fics planned out, one a considerable length, and i still have that one fic i wrote months ago and abandoned when it was at 6000 words :/


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